Malaysian Char kuey teow

almost taste like malaysia!

yo yo yo holler from B'more. Here's a southeast asian delicacy, SPECIFICALLY Malaysian (sorry you Singaporeans out there). A simple flat noodle stir fry with stinky but oh sooooooo yummy "belacan", aka dried shrimp paste.  If you're making anything with shrimp paste, best be making it in a well ventilated location, and that's a warning!
a'ight, basic pantry must have to stay true to the Malaysian char kuey teow (fried flat noodles):

-oil for stir frying, of course
-1 packet of dried flat noodles, or fresh, whatever floats your boat
-2 eggs
-a bunch of bean sprouts or your favorite crunchy veges, such as bell peppers
-LOTSA garlic, at least 6 cloves
-soy sauce, enough to coat all noodles brown (a great cook can't tell you exact measurements sometimes!)
-sugar, by taste
-your choice of meats, shrimp or hard tofu >>> depicted in the picture, and no, not the grocery store type firm tofu, you have to go to special asian store to get the "fake chicken" tofu>> TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!
-Spring onion (scallions, if you don't already know they are interchangably used)
-Cilantro

Basic sambal sauce: if you can make a big batch once and store it, this would just create the stink only once!
-3 tbsp stinky shrimp paste
-2 shallots
-3 tbsp sambal oelek 2 tsp sugar
- vege / corn oil for stir frying (again, its a guestimate >2 tbsp?)

Start out with the sambal sauce, coat pan with oil, add in shallots and fry on med/high for a few minutes, throw in sambal and shrimp paste, simmer on low heat for 5-10 minutes, then add sugar and simmer for another 3 minutes.

On a separate pot, boil flat noodles until  Al dente (asians are just like italians!), drain and keep the boiling water in a reservoir, and throw in noodles to continue cooking outside of heat > this is the trick to not let the noodles stick and overcooked while you are still getting your other shit together! no other recipes tell you that, and i am giving you the chef's tip!

Coat wok, pot, whatever you have, with oil, and throw in your loads of garlic, before it turns brown, scramble in 2 eggs, then add your meats, cook till almost done, add in the rest of your veges, cook till soften, then ...at this point, you should add some salt to taste to all the ingredients >> you need to layer in your salt flavor!

Then, add in your flat noodles, toss in your sambal mixture and stir fry GENTLY so you don't kill your noodles.  Add in more soysauce to coat your noodles, and also SUGAR >>> a very important ingredient to balance out the taste. I can't tell you how much to add, man you just gotta get down and dirty and experiment with your own palate!  Trust me, the end result is a very fulfilling accomplishment when you cook a great dish!
Lastly, add in some scallions and cilantro (or not, if you hate those 2 flavors).

and.. Voila..